I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
