don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
