I'm gonna have a badass scar
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
