He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize