Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
