Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
