What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
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Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So squirting runs in the family.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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