I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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