I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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