I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
