I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
