you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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