you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
