Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
