The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
