I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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