What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
