This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize