FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize