I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
