That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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