Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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