I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
