U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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