clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
