I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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