So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Randomize
