he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
