he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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