In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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