I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
