Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
