I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
