Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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