Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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