no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
