im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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