hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
