my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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