oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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