I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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