I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
