he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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