i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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