You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
