how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
