I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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