Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
