i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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