there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
