Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
