Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
