she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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