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What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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