Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
