If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize