Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
