Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
