She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
