so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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