i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
