babies were throwing up all over the place
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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