Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
