She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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