I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
