went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
