I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
