i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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